Is it really worth to wait for the right person? The question surfaced in a conversation with my husband not too long ago. We were discussing dating and what we should teach our children later on in life.
World will give us a million reason why we should have what we want and when we want it. Remembering back when I was in high school and I wasn’t a Christian yet, I never even thought it would be possible to date only one guy and get married. What concerned me was how will I know if he is the right one.Years went by and I was falling in and out of love, lived for my flesh and got my heart broken over and over again. Leaving deep scars for the rest of my life. I only wish I knew Jesus then, and I could’ve applied some of the basic principles to my life about dating. I would’ve loved to know how to look for a guy who is worthy and righteous.
So what kind of person should you date ?
Have you ever heard anyone say “He makes me a better person? “ that’s it, stay close to the person who makes you want to do right.
2 Timothy 2:22 English Standard Version (ESV)
22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
Should you date someone who is not a God fearing person? Light can not live in the darkness so we shouldn’t live for the flesh either.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
14 Do not be [a]bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with [b]Belial, or [c]what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
What about a guy who claims to be a Christian but does not live it?
You know that cute guy who gets totally smashed every party and goes home with a different girl every time? I know he is super charming, but so as the devil.
1 Corinthians 5:11 New International Version (NIV)
“11But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister[a] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”
What about the guy who has a short temper?
See Proverbs 22:
“Don’t make friends with an angry man, and don’t be a companion of a hot-tempered man”
Do you see potential in the guy? Do you feel like he’s striving to be a good and courageous man? Could he be a spiritual leader in the relationship or he is sort of lazy?
See 2 Thessalonians 3:6
“Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to keep away from every brother who walks irresponsibly and not according to the tradition received from us. “
Chris my husband has this funny saying :
“Pick out the ugliest guy in the crowed and see him for his heart, and I guarantee you will fall in love.”
Well, I am not saying you should only date guys with lesser looks, but I do think inner quality is gold and it will go a long way!
See 1 Peter 3:4
“3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Date someone who has a good attitude towards Christ.
Romans 15:5-6 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“5 Now may the God [a]who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one accord you may with one [b]voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Encouragement and support is everything in a relationship.Those are qualities in a guy that will definitely pay off in a long run in your marriage.
Philippians 2:1-2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any [a]affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete [b]by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.”
What should you avoid on dates?
I had this unwritten rule: “Do not date anyone from a party”…
Seriously, relationships like this never worked out for me. Partying and getting drunk is never a good and solid foundation for a lasting relationship. How we present ourselves is going to reflect on our relationship. If we have shallow values our relationship is going to reflect that.
See Romans 13:13 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“13 Let us [a]behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy.”
Dating should never include sexual relationship it’s in the Bible. See
1 Corinthians 6:13 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“13 Food is for the [a]stomach and the [b]stomach is for food, but God will do away with both [c]of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the [a]immoral man sins against his own body.”
Remember our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so we should honor it by respecting it.
Keep yourself pure. Sex itself is designed by God. When our sexuality begins with Christ, it is good, pure and beautiful. God’s will is for us to abstain from sex prior to marriage.
I encourage you to press on and stay the path that’s life giving.
It will be hard at times…But do you want to live for Jesus or the guy next door?