“You grow girl!” That is the message that was put on the cutest little gift I received from my church at our Ladies’ Retreat.

It made me think of the growth season I have been going through for the past 3 years. When I think back to all that I have been through, I know that every word I say now needs to glorify my God because without his loving kindness I would’ve never been able to make it through!

I hear a lot of stories daily from friends and on social media that are just terrible, and I can only imagine the pain they have experienced. I think to myself, my life is really not that bad! You know, it makes us appreciate what we have… gratitude that is… 

I started withholding my stories because I thought they were just not as significant as other important things like cancer, divorce, lost child, abuse…etc. 

Comparison trap- here we go! 

Satan slowly started shifting my view on sharing and I truly started believing that my story is just really not that important.

Until God called me out of my comfort zone and said, “You need to share!” You need to share, because you don’t know who needs to hear it. You don’t know who is going to be that one that will relate to your story! You don’t know who is going to be inspired by your story and start “digging” in their life to find some answers. So here I am sharing from my deepest, darkest moments when nothing else could save me, but Jesus did. He saved my soul that was full of sorrow and pain and just wanted to give up. He showed me the way out of the dark pit and gave me hope, when no one else could. 

It all started with a question I wrote down on a piece of paper…”Who are you?” 

I remember I was just staring at that piece of paper that was previously ripped out of one of my husband’s notebook and it shook me to the core…  I had no idea… 

To accept the fact that I didn’t even know who I was anymore was terrifying! After a while I started writing down some things that identified the position I had, but not describing me as a person. The list started out with things like wife, mom, stay at home mom, youth leader, friend, etc.

There was nothing about me, it was everything about who I was to others. That is when I realized I needed to take a step toward growth. The Father graciously led me from scripture to scripture letting me know how much He loved me and how much I meant to Him. Step-by-step He walked with me and led me to find my way to Him and see myself how He sees me. For the first time I was inspired to go on this journey with Him and find out what He wants for my life. He didn’t want me to settle for loneliness and depression; He didn’t want me to feel unloved. He didn’t want me to be unmotivated to find my way! I started asking myself hard questions and my growth began to flourish little by little, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.

Friend, I am here to tell you! There is hope in the darkness. There is hope when no one else seems to understand you! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you! Your story matters! What you struggle with today can be your gift tomorrow. When you feel lonely and unloved, use it to bounce back and remember to love others and reach out to others. God can turn your struggles into strength today!

All you have to do is to be willing! Take the first step toward healing and be willing to follow God’s path for your life! Discover the truth; you were never meant to do this life alone! You were meant to grow, so grow girl grow! 
 
Ps.:
I attached this photo with Kasey Van Norman, because this moment here that was captured  was a key moment in my life. Her message at the time shifted my whole outlook on my  identity and encouraged  me later on to start my blog and encourage others.
I sincerely hope my writing will help you in some way and encourage you to reach out and blossom.

Love,
             Csilla

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